Rhonda Rabow Psychotherapist

B.A., F.L.E., M.A.
Bringing 20 years of counselling experience.

How to successfully survive the holidays when you are single

Love and Marriage 3 Secrets for Living Happily Ever After A new e-book by Rhonda Rabow M.A. Click Here

As you know, the holiday season is quickly approaching.  For many people it is a time of joy, celebration with family and friends and a whirlwind of activity.  For others, it can come with a lot of mixed feelings. For those who are single, and don’t want to be stay that way, it can be a time for feeling depressed, sad, and alone.  No one can change the past and or re-write past mistakes or regrets, but you can make a decision to start off the new year on a positive note, to learn from your past, deal with past issues and resolve to motivate yourself and set new goals starting TODAY!

Tips for getting back on track

• Make a list of the things you have accomplished this past year and don’t minimize or deny even the smallest positive steps. 
• List your qualities and the positive things your friends and family tell you about yourself
• Forgive your mistakes and recognize that growing is a process and mistakes give us the opportunity to learn and make better choices in the future.
• Call a supportive friend , it is easier to get back on track when you have support
• Circulate and re-connect with family and friends
• Plan some small gatherings with those you care about and accept a few invitations to go out and meet other people
• Develop healthier coping methods to manage stress, anger and disappointment.
  Take up some positive habits, like exercise, meditation, Yoga,  dance, or just listening to uplifting music can improve your mood.
• Start dating again, but pay attention to those red flags you have ignored in the past
• Make your goal to test your ability to read your dates – not marry them
• Examine your past relationships and see what patterns emerge
• When spending time with your family, set your limits on how long you will stay.
• Plan in advance how you will deal with challenging situations.
• Be realistic with your expectations.  People don’t usually change, without help.
• Do some volunteer work; feeling useful and appreciated will provide a great boost to your holiday spirits.
• Plan to go out of town, somewhere warm and sunny.

What NOT to do!

• Don’t give up, just because you may be feeling sad and discouraged.
• Don’t give yourself a “pity party” for too long
• Don’t be afraid of change – change leads to increased self-confidence
• Don’t ignore, minimize or blame others for the past.  Recognize and accept your part of the problem.
• Don’t spend time “shoulding” on yourself .  It will only keep you in a negative place.
• Don’t procrastinate.  The saying is true, “This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

Embrace this season as the start of wonderful things to come and you will have much to celebrate in your future.

For more information, please contact: Rhonda Rabow, M.A.

(514) 626-4609

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© 2008 Rhonda Rabow www.helphelpmerhonda.ca