Rhonda Rabow Psychotherapist
B.A., F.L.E., M.A.
Bringing 20 years of counselling experience.
Assertiveness self-quiz
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Before learning how to develop your assertiveness skills, it is important to get an idea of where you are right now. Answer the questions below and score yourself. You will get some indications of your strengths and areas where you may need to improve.
Choose the number that most accurately reflects your usual responses.
On a scale of 5 down to 1: 5=Always 1=Never
Example: Eye contact is important when talking, and I try to maintain it.
Answer: 3 - Sometimes I try to maintain it, e.g. when someone criticizes me,
I try to learn from it.
Answer: 1 - I don't try to learn from it; I get angry.
- ____ I ask others to do things without feeling guilty or anxious.
- ____
If I want to say no to something I am asked to do, I do not feel guilty
or anxious.
- ____ I can confidently express my opinions to authority figures,
such as my boss.
- ____ When I feel anger, frustration, or disappointment,
I feel that I can express these feelings easily and appropriately.
- ____
I can express anger without accusing others of making me mad.
- ____ I am
comfortable speaking up in a group situation, e.g. meeting, or family gathering.
- ____ I feel at ease speaking up, even if it is an opinion that is contrary
to the majority.
- ____ When I make a mistake, I will acknowledge it.
- ____ I tell others when
their behaviour creates a problem for me.
- ____ I am comfortable meeting
new people in social situations.
- ____ I can discuss my beliefs without
labeling others as "crazy", "stupid".
- ____ I assume
that most people are competent and reliable and do not have difficulty
delegating tasks to others.
- ____ When considering doing something for
the first time, I feel confident that I can learn to do it.
- ____ I believe
that my needs are as important as others and that I am entitled to have
my needs satisfied.
- ____ I believe that I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity by everyone.
Total Score: add up the numbers you wrote down.
If your score is 60+
you have a consistently assertive philosophy and probably
handle most situations well. You may receive some new ideas from this seminar
on how to further improve your skills and effectiveness (or else someone is
fibbing).
If your score is 45-60
you have a fairly assertive outlook. There are some
situations where you are naturally assertive, but there is some room for improvement.
If your score is 30-45
you seem to be assertive in some situations but your
natural response tends to be either more nonassertive or aggressive. By changing
some perceptions and practicing new behaviurs and techniques, you should be
able to handle things more assertively in the future.
If your score is 15-30
search no more, it's time to say, Help, help me Rhonda.
Receiving counselling to improve your assertiveness skills will help you to:
- Feel more in control of your life
- Feel proud of the way you treat yourself
- Set up a positive role model of healthy behaviour for your children
- Improve your self-confidence and raise your self-esteem
For more information, please contact: Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
(514) 626-4609
Visit Rhonda's other Web site, www.rhondarabow.com to submit a free question, subscribe to her newsletter or read even more articles and get FREE STUFF.
© 2008 Rhonda Rabow www.helphelpmerhonda.ca